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      二 叔

      2018-11-30 10:06| 来自: 中国散文网|作者: 广 西 杨光普|编辑: admin| 查看: 5595| 评论: 0

        二叔走了。

        我是当天傍晚回到家的。我踏入老家的门,迎接我的是躺在堂屋的棺材,没有问候,没有声音。发黄的灯泡吊在房梁上,随着大风的到来,摇摇晃晃,恍恍惚惚,像喝醉酒的老汉般颤抖,又似打瞌睡的小孩般迷乱。家里的人很少,或是这件事情来得太突然,请来帮忙的

        人都还没有赶到。

        门外的狂风暴雨有些颠了。听着狂风掠过门的苞谷林,听着暴雨打在屋顶苍老的瓦上,我却在想,我看过的电影里,死人时大都是雷雨交加,我原以为,这都是电影所必需的渲染而已。没想到,我却突然亲身经历了,没有一点点的思想准备。我多么希望这也只是一场电

        影。

        祖母坐在火铺的长凳上,面无表情。祖父则坐在对面的椅子上,抽着烟。我没有叫他们,直接问了一句:“爸去哪了?”爷爷说:“喊先生去了?!逼绞?,我与父亲没话说,这时,我看见父亲不在,心里却有些发慌。

        到了饭点,大姑和大姑爷来了;老先生也在助手和我父亲的簇拥下来了。他们都整好碰上开饭。大姑扑在二叔的棺材上又捶又哭,奶奶过去安慰她,两人都没有吃饭。我也没有吃。大姑爷叫我吃点,我说不饿,我的眼睛时刻不停地看着棺材,心中念着,二叔再也不会跟

        我比赛吃肥肉了。呵呵!小时候,他为了诓我吃肉,总说要跟我比赛,最后,我吃了很多,他却只吃几。

        二叔是得酒精肝走的。他走的前一天,我去医院看了他。心里害怕,不太敢正眼看他。那时,他说话已经很困难了。天气太热,他上身赤裸,不安的骨头在他的皮囊里耸动。这时,我才发现他早已经没有了在我小时候跟我比赛吃肥肉时的身材。爷爷说他已经五天没有吃

        东西了,全靠打药水维持。我像个大爷似的坐在床头的小凳子上,远远地看着他。其实,我心里是在害怕。最终,我还是没抵得过内心的驱使,靠近了他。

        我拿毛巾给他擦汗,听着他大声地喘气,脑海里下意识地跳出他死后的画面。

        第二天,我没有去看他??删驮谡馓斓南挛?,父亲给我来了一个电话,平淡地说了一声二叔走了,他人已经被送回去了,但是没有叫我回家的意思。我想着,我一定要回家。因为,二叔是爱我的,他没有老婆,也没有孩子。我请了假,慌张地往家赶。

        二叔是真的走了。

        我一连两天都没有睡。二叔下葬那天凌晨五点,父亲叫我去躺会儿。迷糊中,我听到父亲与祖父的争吵。争吵的内容,不外乎是丧礼的一些事情。我猛然惊醒,提醒自己不能睡着,两个小时之后,还要跟二叔做最后的告别。

        七点——老先生选的时间。二叔在家睡了两天两夜。第三天的七点,我们把他送走了。老先生指挥着一群彪形大汉,架起了瘦小的棺材。我端了灵牌,与拿着灵幡的幺叔走在送葬队伍的最前面。幺叔一脸的疲惫,他在二叔刚走那天晚上,开了一夜的车,跑了一千多公里

        路,从江西回到了广西老家,然后一直没睡。他问我:“龙,你怕不怕?”我不知道怎么回答,以沉默、低头应付。其实,我一点也不怕,只是不舍。不过,不舍之外,我却又有点替二叔得到解脱而感到庆幸,我能感受到他受病痛折磨时的痛苦与无奈。

        老先生为二叔选的墓地不是很远,离家也就两公里的路程。我们很快就来到了墓地。我看着二叔的棺材被放入了提前挖好的土坑,在老先生的指导下,我跪在棺材上挖了三锄泥巴之后,眼睁睁看着粗鲁的大汉拿着锄头、铁铲,几下就把二叔掩埋在没有阳光,没有酒,也

        没有我的土地里。我的心像被机器绞了一般,但是,我没有流泪。我使劲地逼着自己无论如何也要憋出几滴泪,可是,这个时候,连眼睛都不是我的了,想要那么几滴可怜的眼泪,却也是办不到,只是愣愣地看着身前的土堆。

        对于二叔,我是愧疚的。我幻想过很多次,等我有钱了,一定让他过好日子。然而,我还没有钱,他却躲到了我面前的新坟里。他是永远地走了,躲掉了世间一切的不顺,躲掉了世间一切的欢愉,而我,却要藏着一辈子的愧疚与悔恨去怀念,躲无可躲。

        我明白自己犯了一个错误。今天的日子还在,明天的日子未来。但有的人总不会珍惜今天,而去幻想明天,殊不知人总难预料今天之后,是否还会有明天。但是,当我明白的时候,已经太晚。我头脑混乱,仿佛一下子就要爆开。幺叔看着我,轻轻地扯了我一下。

        回家的路上,我没有说话,耳边不时响起了二叔打跑我妈的言论。同时,我的脑海不受控制地浮现起五年前的一个冬夜,被二叔骂过一顿的我,跑出了家门。醉酒的二叔追上我,跪在寒风中,求我回家……

        
      上一篇:重生的铁树下一篇:宝和七七祭

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