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      因为爱你,所以懂得——致我的警察老公

      2018-11-30 09:52| 来自: 中国散文网|作者: 甘肃省 何等兄|编辑: admin| 查看: 8008| 评论: 0

        今晚批阅学生的作文《我最佩服的人》,有一位学生写道“我最佩服的人是警察,因为他们刀枪不入,无所不能?!笨醋藕⒆又善奈淖趾托闹形尴薜木匆?,一种无法言说的滋味涌上心头。历历往事,飘然而至!

        如此的不淡定,是因为我有一个警察老公。为了工作,给了我一个与众不同的生活。我多想给学生讲讲你的故事,让孩子们重新认识下这份特殊的职业和光荣的使命。同时,我也想和你——我忙碌的老公,梳理下我记忆犹新的日子和悲喜交集的情感。

        2013年怀着对生活美好的憧憬,我们走进了婚姻的殿堂。短暂的相聚之后,你回到了工作岗位,我们过起了聚少离多的日子。不知有多少次羡慕周末手挽手走在马路上的夫妻,奢望能像他们一样,有序且精致地生活??缮钪展槭窍质档?,每到周末只有形单影只的我,一个人逛街,一个人吃饭,然后百无聊赖地幻想你惊喜地出现。往往希望越大,失望越大,幻想后的绝望深到骨髓,冷的刺骨。

        2014年怀孕三个月的我,因为身体不好,休假在家,你却因为一桩命案在山上待了一个月。这一个月对我而言无比漫长和煎熬,怨气也随之漫延。当时不止一次地为了曾经的选择后悔,不止一次在深夜流泪。身体的变化,心理的不适,没人陪伴的孤独,让我度日如年。

        2014年9月,女儿出生了。当母亲的喜悦渐渐冲淡了我的怨气,可随之发生的一系列事让我难以释怀。月子里无人倾诉的烦躁,孩子哭闹的焦虑,无法出门的压抑,所有种种让我近乎发疯。多么希望你能陪在身边,哪怕是默默地坐着,心里也是一种安慰。但工作忙得焦头烂额的你,远比我想象的薄情。

        2015年的某天我生病,晚上你到学校给我送药。半夜三点接到打架的报警电话。多次劝解不下的情况下,冒着倾盆大雨,不顾我的阻拦,开车往山上赶。听着窗外哗哗的雨声,彻夜难眠。

        2016年的某个周日,我们正走在回家的路上。其间你接了一个报警电话,急匆匆地掉头,拉我一同回单位了解案情。说好的最多一个小时,可处理完后已经晚上十一点多了,坐在车内等待的我由饥饿到昏昏大睡。外面漆黑的夜,如同我对生活的迷茫,漫无边际。

        2017年的寒假,女儿感冒发烧,半夜高烧不退。我给你打电话,你却因看押嫌疑人一直抽不开身。一晚上给女儿擦、敷,整夜未闭眼。第二天踩着积雪抱女儿看病,寒冷的风,大片的雪花,脚下厚厚的冰。我毫无察觉,因为心里已无温度。

        如今,女儿大了,每次周末我们娘俩走在街上,听她不解地一遍遍问爸爸,竟无言以对。上幼儿园后,学校时不时地组织亲子活动,从没见到你的身影??醋藕⒆悠谂蔚难凵?,内心酸不可奈。此刻多么希望你有一份普通的工作,是一个正常的父亲。

        如此种种,多不可数??醋拍忝β档纳碛?,我有说不出的委屈:逢年过节,你总是缺席,原本计划的探望父母,朋友聚会,假期旅游……也因为你的工作一变再变,最后不了了之,化为泡影。就连别人眼里你普通的电话铃声,也让我触目惊心。

        范玮琪有一首歌《我们可不可以不勇敢》,熟悉的旋律如潺潺流水,在耳畔流淌。歌词却不伤春悲秋,而是充满力量,句句戳心:“我们可不可以不勇敢,当伤太重心太酸无力承担,就算警察现在很流行很释然,好像什么困难都知道该怎么办”,每每听到都让我黯然伤神。

        一晃结婚五年了,你鬓角的头发已变得斑驳。当一次次看到你回家来不及换衣服就歪在沙发上睡着,一次次半夜接完电话往单位赶,一次次不厌其烦地劝解失去理智的群众,一次次连续几天几夜为了工作不休息,一次次逢年过节一个人独身在岗位吃方便面……心里五味杂陈。你却从未喊苦叫累,从未抱怨不满。久而久之被你的工作精神和态度所折服,被你无怨无悔的干劲所感动。

        经过时间的磨炼和岁月的沉淀,我懂了,并非你不关心我们,不爱享受假期,享受生活。只是你为了自己身上肩负的那沉甸甸的责任。虽然每年你错过了女儿生日,你却从没忘记给她买礼物;虽然你不能像其他丈夫那样陪我,你却能在情人节时为了给我惊喜大老远跑来送一束花;虽然你不能在父母面前尽孝,你却为了成为他们的骄傲一再努力。

        席慕容《无悔的青春》写道“如果你爱上了一个人,请你一定要温柔地对待她。不管你们相处的时间有多长或多短,若你们能始终温柔地相待,那么,所有的时刻都将是一种无瑕的美丽?!备写テ纳?,我想用这首诗时刻提醒矫情,今天抱怨,明天怄气的自己。在你身后,以爱的名义站成永恒,默默地支持你。

        写完这些,泪眼蒙眬,为这一路的点点滴滴和不容易感动。走出宿舍,看着满天繁星和村民们温暖的灯光。相信你工作的地方,一定有一盏不眠的窗灯,为了更多熟睡的人在守候。冷了一个人,却暖了天下人。

        而我,只愿今后每个平凡的日子里,岁月静好,你平安健康。我们,只如初见。在白发苍苍时,透过如水岁月,穿过一生纷繁。俯瞰生命中这段生动、鲜亮的历程,仍能遇见心底当初那份感动,初心始终。
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