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      忆外婆

      2018-11-29 11:06| 来自: 中国散文网|作者: 天津市 严 丽|编辑: admin| 查看: 5634| 评论: 0

        外婆离开我们28年了,她离开时82岁。这个年龄按说在当时那个年代算得上高寿,可是对母亲来说,对我们来说是一种永远的遗憾,永远的伤痛。

        那是1989年的冬天。那时我们家也正经历着人生的冬天——母亲被人诬陷,正接受有关部门审查。我们都在关注母亲,却没注意到我们年迈的外婆正走向生命的尽头。

        那年,我和大弟正在武汉上大学。当大弟拿着父亲发来的“婆病危、速归!”电报到我宿舍时,我不敢相信我的眼睛:不、不、不可能。

        然而当我们风尘仆仆赶回家,站在家的门前时,我还是看到了永远都不想看到的一幕:一油着红漆的棺材停放在门前。那红红油漆的棺材很刺眼,像一把刀刺进我的心。顿时我两眼一黑,腿一软,跪在了门前。

        我的外婆走了,那个从我8个月起就抚养我的外婆永远地离开了我,那个最疼爱我的人走了……

        1989年11月2日,我的善良、美丽的、一生曲折坎坷的外婆因脑溢血突发,永远离开了我们。

        她走时很安详。就像睡着般。我拉着她的手,想摇醒她。任凭我千般呼唤,外婆静静地躺在那里。她累了?。?!

        外婆,您怎么舍得离我们而去?

        外婆,有一个美丽的名字“曹春花”,这是我读初中时才知道的。我记事的时候起,湾里人称呼她“二姆妈(同音)”。我不知道,外婆原来有一个如此美丽的名字。

        挽着发髻,圆脸,下巴左角有一颗痣,面容慈祥,为人温和。这是外婆给别人留下的第一印象。认识外婆的人说,外婆是福相。曾见过外婆的同学说,你外婆年轻时一定是个大美人。哈哈,我很骄傲!

        外婆心地善良。有一件事让我印象很深。1979年,同村的三毛哥参加抗越自卫还击战。三毛哥的父母既为英雄的儿子骄傲,也担心儿子的安危。他们每天都生活在焦虑之中,尤其是三毛哥的妈妈每天以泪洗面。三毛哥家附近有一水塘。湾里人都是在水塘里洗衣服。我们

        去水塘洗衣服时,要经过三毛哥家的门前。平常,我都是一路小跑在前,外婆迈着三寸金莲,挎着篮子在后。那些日子,每每经过三毛哥家的门前时,外婆要我轻轻走路。外婆还将母亲买给她的红糖,拎去看三毛哥父母。

        我13岁那年,我家搬迁到了附近的江北农场,生活相对于过去便利了。那时经?;嵊星灼莸脚┏』蚧剖舨耸苯孕谐低7旁谖壹颐徘?,或放一下东西在我家。外婆总是满心喜悦招待,热情留他们吃饭。

        我小时候,父母在外工作,是外婆抚养我长大。在漫长的成长岁月过程中,我未看见外婆与别人有过纷争。外婆也从未向我讲过别人的不是。倒是,每次母亲、父亲回家探亲。外婆总不忘告诉父母,哪个表哥帮我们挑了水,哪位舅舅、舅妈在我们姐弟生病时,帮过我们

        。谁来看过她。母亲听了,会带着礼物去感恩帮助、照顾过我们的人。

        我也从未听到外婆叫过一声苦。我以为外婆是不苦的。直到我当了母亲以后,我才体会到外婆不易。一个风烛残年的老人要照顾4个未成年的孩子要经历一种怎样的生活?

        一次,读小学的小弟误服了药,以至于精神出现狂躁。大叫“我是孙悟空”,挥舞着拳头,不让外婆走近。外婆没见过这阵势,心急如焚,迈着三寸金莲小脚,踉踉跄跄,请邻居帮忙。又让人去向母亲的在附近工作的同事程武装叔叔求助。多年后帮助过我们的程叔说“

        你婆不容易呀!”。

        其实,我只要稍微用心去体会一下外婆的处境,就不难想象出外婆的生活不易。试想,在重男轻女的农村,一个女人没有自己的孩子,唯一的女儿还是被抱养的,她要经历一种怎样的生活呢?可惜,自私的我从未去想这些,只是享受着外婆带给我的岁月静好的生活。

        前年,我因生病,有了和母亲独处的一段时间。从母亲那里,我对外婆才有了粗略的了解。

        外婆的娘家和母亲的生父母同村。村子位于湖北浠水散花长江边。外婆因兄妹多,被邻村邱姓人家抱养作童养媳。后因邱外公早逝,外婆便嫁给了外公——母亲的养父。外公是教私塾的,因为解放前当过几天伪保长。常常挨批。母亲讲到这里时,反复说:“外公没有民

        愤,他没害过人”。只不过因为他教过几天书,在村里算是有学问的。国民党让他当伪保长。他不得不当。外公的成分是中农。就因为外公当过伪保长,外婆受罪不少。有一年,做江堤。外婆小脚,本身走远一点路就困难,挑土的任务完不成,可是她好强,没日没夜挑

        了40多天的土。也就是这一次,外婆落下了子宫脱垂的病。1958年,外公得了浮肿病离开了人世。

        天啦!这就是我命运多坎叫的外婆!我听后,震惊不已?。?!生活虽然一次又一次将她打入谷底,可是外婆却从未向我们透露她生活的不易。即便别人伤害了她,但她也从未向我们抱怨过别人。对于他人对她的点滴帮助,她总是心怀感恩。

        亲爱的外婆,那些年,您一定很累吧!谢谢您!谢谢您,给了母亲、父亲,我们姐弟一个温暖的家。亲爱的外婆,如果您活着多好。现在母亲已平安归来,冤案早已得到昭雪。您精心抚养的我们姐弟四人已成家立业。

        那个常常惹您生气的长外孙——鸿,外婆,您一定没想到吧?他现在是一个宽厚仁慈的好父亲,还曾是黄石市“五一”劳动奖获得者呢。

        外婆,您不会忘记爱哭、胆小的小外孙女——江吧?她居然独自远赴日本研修。外婆,您一定很惊奇吧!

        您最疼爱的小外孙——海子,读了博士,他现在是一名大学教授。

        外婆,听到这些,您一定很高兴吧!外婆,我们是多么想和您分享这些喜悦。

        如果有来生,亲爱的外婆,我们调换位置,让我们来好好爱您一次。

        亲爱的外婆,今天,我想您了。我在遥远的天津缅怀您!

        我们永远怀念您?。?!外婆。
      上一篇:春满人间下一篇:邻里之间
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